Hey, ladies! Look no further for the perfect Canadian man! Find the big, brawny types or the smooth, sensitive types right here in their natural habitats doing their favourite things:

• The Winterpegger: Standing at the corner of Portage and Main is this urban wild man, bracing against near hurricane-force winds; he is ready for whatever comes his way.
• Le Séparatiste: Deep in the heart of Québec lives a man with a soulconsuming mission—convincing 51 percent of the population that the province should be an independent country, leaving the English federalists out in the cold and keeping the hot French ladies to himself.
• The Senior Leaguer: Down at the local rink, a grey-haired guy sits in a humid, smelly dressing room, putting on tattered equipment and holding on to a shred of his youth by knocking around other old guys’ creaky bones in a game of old-timers hockey.
• The BC Lumberjack: In the northern wilds of British Columbia, the manly man’s man works all day making swift work of the colossal old-growth timbers with his trusty axe, so that Canadians have a newspaper to read each morning.
• The Alberta Redneck: Deep in the backcountry he lurks with truck and dog, wearing a stained wife beater, sporting a farmer tan and spending his days drinking beer outside on his couch and collecting government assistance cheques—a true catch.