This macho little collection is packed with humour as old as the cave or as fresh as tomorrow on: sex, marriage and the lack of sex, outhouses, cars, bars, baseball, blondes, bodily functions, golf, geezers, engineers, lawyers,
preachers, politicians and pratfalls.
Lost Wife
A man approaches a beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asks, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.”
Italians Do It Better
A bus stops, and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time.” “You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country, we don’t speak aloud in public places about our sex lives! “Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talkin’ abouta sex? I’m a justa tellin’ my frienda how to spella ‘Mississippi.’”
Q and As
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None! It should be opened when she gives it to you.
Q: What’s the definition of trust?
A: Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.
Poll
A recent poll disclosed the fact that ninety percent of all men masturbate in the shower, while the other ten percent sing. Do you know what they sing? You don’t know, do you? I didn’t think so…. And believe it or not, there’s lots more where those came from!